She smiled tentatively, looked at me earnestly (almost pleadingly- begging me to be gentle with her) and shook my hand. This was my meeting, and we were here to discuss the terms of our relationship, because the Kids' Dad was ready to introduce her to our boys.
We were both eager to give the other the benefit of the doubt, to create as harmonious a relationship as possible, given the fact that she was dating the man I thought I'd love forever.
"I know they don't need another mom," she said, "and I don't want to be a mom."
"Yes, but what I do think they need is another partner for their dad," I explained.
We're all better when we have partners, right? Someone to bounce ideas off of, to call us out when we're wrong, and to give us a break when we're exhausted. Someone to inspire us and comfort us and evensometimes chastise us. How could it hurt my kids for their father to have a partner like that?
The Girlfriend was warm and genuine, sweet and fun and thoughtful. She was clearly relieved that I wished her no harm, and surprised and touched that I intended to support her relationship with my kids and their dad.
I was equally relieved, but not surprised. I'd given it a great deal of thought and decided that there was no reason we shouldn't have a warm and open relationship, and I'd been proactive about establishing it.
But there was one thing that surprised me. One thing I had not accounted for in all my thoughtful planning.
And that was just how much in love she was.
It caught me off-guard. The dreamy look in her eyes, her breathy overtone when she said his name, the glow on her face. And I am happy. For her. For him.
(But what about me?)
